This is my favourite photograph of me and Bertie.
The pose isn't that good at a glance, I know it would get comments like his ears are not forwards or he has his mouth slightly open..
This is me and Bertie. The cheeky, nibbly, x- working stallion Bertie. This photograph sums all that up and the best bit is I'm in it with him. Bertie is demonstrating all that cheekiness in this photo. I am trying to look natural whilst he knows that I am not giving him my FULL attention. Never one to be ignored is Bertie.
A larger than life character that I now have to say goodbye too. It wrecks me just writing this and by the time you read this the deed might already be done.
I hate playing this role but I am fortunate that I can stop his suffering. It’s just that big question of when, when do you call it a day for them? Today as I write this is not that day, he is yet again being cheeky.
But, he does have a massive tumour on his lymphatic nodes in his pelvis. It's getting bigger, starting to push on his bladder and rectum. So I have no choice, his welfare is paramount to us all.
I have hundreds of photos and videos of Bertie on my phone but that is sadly where they will stay, small, pixilated and private. This photograph is different, taken on a professional camera, able to be blown up large enough to go on my wall, my beautiful Bertie and me, marking some amazing years together ❤️.
Taken as a promo photo for me in 2019, how glad am I now that I had this done?
Yes, it was a lot of work to get Bertie clean, the joys of a grey pony on Devon red earth, and the flies were a nightmare that day, but wow, am I glad now that I made that effort?
I am opening up here to you, not just because I am a photographer but because I implore you, don’t put off what you can do today in favour of tomorrow, there isn’t always a tomorrow.
I had my beautiful boy put to sleep, he is in no pain and I would like to imagine he is running around with a herd of mares again.
How I will always remember him is his huge personality and his cute, cuddly nature. He was my therapy pony for sure, always making me laugh, even on the darkest of days.
No water bucket handle was safe, if you foolishly left him with a complete bucket it would be without its handle and most probably smashed by the time you got back to the stable.
He would bang the door for his food, nothing ever stopped that, it used to drive me potty and now I miss it like crazy, such a quiet yard without him.
Bertie would get hold of my coat zipper and run it up and down endlessly, especially if you were laughing.
But, the biggest thing of all that I loved about him and will miss so much was those tender moments, when he would rest his chin on my shoulder and whilst I massaged his ears and eyes, he only did this for me and my friend Marina, unforgettable and adorable. I can't explain the pain I feel as I write this.
"Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all" Tennyson - at this moment in time I find that hard to comprehend.